Christmas...A Birth Story

If you read a lot of "mommy blogs" then you know that there is a lot of emphasis these days to document your child's birth story. Birth stories are just like they sound--the story of your child's birth...or the experience(s), feelings, decisions, and actions that occur during the process of your child being birthed. I have never actually taken the time to write out my boys' birth stories nor did I think it was necessary to write out birth plans for them, though I know a lot of people who would say writing each of those things would be a very good idea.
The children's worship at our church is taught through a process of allowing the children to lead the worship through their wonderings about the Biblical stories...the adults are simply there to help guide and direct these wonderings but the kids are encouraged to ask many questions as they wonder and explore the answers through play and conversing together.
Throughout this advent season I have been thinking a lot about Mary and have wondered if she had thought about a birth plan. I'm sure, like most women, Mary had day-dreamed about having children since she was a little girl. What had she envisioned when when she would think of that momentous occasion happening in her life?

Here are some of my recent wonderings:

I wonder how Mary felt when she learned she was with child? She was young, unmarried, and uncertain of the support she would have from others. More importantly, she was a VIRGIN! Did she question her sanity? Did she go through a phase of denial? Was she completely overwhelmed? Surely, this was not anything like the "plan" she had imagined for her life never mind her first pregnancy!

I wonder how much pressure it must have been to know the important role she played in the redemption of the whole world and how humbling and frightening that must have been for any woman to bear. Especially a woman who is aware of her sinfulness and frailty....a holy woman such as Mary.

I wonder how she felt when Joseph first doubted her and when others judged her and ridiculed Joseph. Would Joseph still love her? Would this bad reputation ruin her? This was certainly not the warmth and celebration one wishes for when announcing their new pregnancy.

I wonder how she felt when she learned she had to travel by donkey, late in her pregnancy, to return to Joseph's home for the census...a foreign land to her. These days it is not advised to travel long lengths of time during the last stages of pregnancy due to risks/complications arising as well as the possibility that labor may occur at a very inconvenient time and location. Did Mary worry about such things? How did she manage to sit upon a donkey while nine months pregnant? Did she bicker with Joseph? Did she have to pee every half hour? Was she sleep deprived? Oh, how uncomfortable, miserable, and utterly terrified she must have been?!? Oh Mary...how did you ever do it?

I wonder if she began to doubt God's provision when they were turned away at the inn. Did she think to herself that the inn keeper surely must be joking? Did she cry out to God to provide or was she in so much pain from the contractions that she did not even care at that point?

When she settled in the barn to have her child did it occur to her that she was lying amongst animals and how unsanitary it must be? Did it smell horrible? Was it cold? Hot? Did she have privacy? Did Joseph even know how to deliver a child or were there others (maybe women) there helping? Was the pain frightening for such a young woman who had not experienced child birth before and didn't know what to expect? Did she wish her mother was there for support like most women do?

After the birth how did she feel? Exhausted? Elated? Confused? Was she hungry...thirsty? There were no pain meds...no nurses...no lactation consultant..no baby books telling you how to do things. And then strange visitors from afar to entertain...in a manger...with animals. As an introvert who likes her privacy I cannot even imagine having strangers arrive during one of the most personal and intimate experiences in my life. Sigh. Surely this was not what she had envisioned as a little girl.

These are the things I wonder. There are many more things I could wonder as I reflect upon Mary's experience as it is so hard to imagine being in her shoes. Mary was human just like you and me. I'm sure she was hormonal, scared, fatigued, and in physical pain and yet she was faithful.

We want to have control when it comes to special occasions and experiences in our lives. We think of these things and plan and plot and arrange to have everything go the way we want them to. At least we try to have control. But Mary put all those plans aside to obey her God and to carry out the most important task she would ever do. She relinquished all control and trusted God to fulfill His promise. I'm sure she asked herself: "Why...why me, God?" I'm sure she was uncomfortable, frightened, and in shock of how things were playing out on the night her son, the Savior, was born. Think about it. Mary was "Some Woman." And Jesus was born on "Some Night." And that certainly was "Some Birth Story." The ultimate indeed.

Today I am rejoicing that Mary was obedient and that our King was born all according to plan!

Oh, and by the way, this is one of the reasons why I always say that birth plans are overrated!

Blessing to you this Christmas! Here is an account of Jesus' birth story...my kids love this!

BLESSED

HAPPY THANKSGIVING

Halloween

As you can see my concerns for Halloween being ruined this year were totally valid.


As usual, I had nothing to worry about Halloween night. It was declared a success by all. The Motrin kicked in giving Seth the strength and energy to run about the neighborhood with his cousins. I have never seen the boy so excited! He loved all the scary props and spooky houses and belted out his "trick or treat" with such pride! He crashed once we got home but boy did the holiday ever live up to all his expectations!

Caleb, on the other hand, did not fair so well. He spent most of the night in the stroller but didn't seem to care much. Besides, why do all that trick or treating when you have a brother that will make sure to get you just as much candy (if not more) as all the other kids? This Halloween will definitely be filed in the "Best Memories" category in my brain.

Trusting Your Paranoia

I feel bad. And guilty. And sad. On Thursday we had a scheduled play date at the mall with a friend and her baby girl. It didn't even dawn on me until that morning that Halloween was only three days away and that there was a very good possibility that my boys would pick up a virus at the germy play center which would most likely manifest itself in my household precisely 48 hrs. after invading my kiddos bodies...right on time for Halloween weekend. This is how the conversation went in my head as I was driving the boys to the mall:

Paranoid me: The boys are totally going to get sick

Rational me: Well you can't keep them home forever...and how stupid would it sound to tell Kim that the reason you couldn't go was because the kids might get sick. LAME!

Paranoid me: Yeah, but this is Seth's favorite holiday! It's all he's been talking about for 6 weeks (not an exaggeration). You know how miserable he gets when he catches a cold. It will ruin the whole weekend!

Rational me: They're slowly building up an immunity to germs! They don't always get sick. Besides, we've been in the house for 2 days straight (due to weird weather). This will be good for them and good for you! Don't worry!

Paranoid me: Listen to your gut! Just turn around and ensure a healthy and pleasant Halloween for everyone! Why take the chance? And, by the way, yes they do ALWAYS get sick.

Well, we all know what happened and I wish I did just turn around. Both boys have what seem to be bad colds. They are fine, really, just a little more whiny, uncomfortable, and tired. I just feel bad that they will be out trick or treating (we are going no matter what) while feeling sick. They both have fevers but I'm praying it doesn't get worse overnight. We had to miss our church Halloween party today and they will miss church festivities tomorrow. We're also supposed to be celebrating my niece's and nephew's birthdays before we all go out trick or treating so I'm really hoping that still works out!

It's situations like these that make me feel annoyed at myself. What would you have done? I think it is almost laughable for me to have kept my kids home b/c of the possibility that they may get sick but it would've done my kids a whole lot of good to listen to my gut. It was just the mall...not very important at all. Not worth ruining this holiday that they have been eagerly waiting for (Seth has been practicing trick or treating at home...walking around and knocking on all our doors in the house and rehearsing his "trick or treat"). At least Seth is past the stage where he would get the horrible croup with every single cold and we'd have to use the nebulizer. But still.

The Boys with their cousin, Sarah, at The Zoo Goes Boo!

P.S. I am now hearing "barking" from their bedroom. *SIGH*

The weekend where we lose Caleb....twice.

Yesterday we brought the kids to the play area in the mall since it was quite chilly outside and we wanted to get out of the house. Scott and I were sitting on the benches surrounding the play area chatting while of course watching the kids. The play area was very full and brimming with activity. There is a large "tree house" in the middle of the area which provides multiple hiding spots for the kiddos. Perhaps that is why we lost track of our wee little one. When I lost sight of him I just assumed he must be in one of the tunnels or up in the tree or hiding under the steps, etc. It was not until Seth ran up and mentioned he couldn't find Caleb that I became concerned and started scanning the area for him, sending Scott in one direction, while I started searching in another. I circled around the tree, making sure to look up, down, and inside nooks and corners in my quest. Still no Caleb. It wasn't until I saw Scott come around the tree (empty handed) that I felt my heart start to race and found myself having a hard time swallowing. My pace quickened and I started feeling desperate in my attempt to find my child. I was most definitely in a panic. I stopped looking inside the play area and focused my eyes out into the very crowded mall. Thank God it didn't take too long to spot a curious curly haired toddler pushing somebody else's empty stroller around the mall!! I quickly scooped him up, returned the stroller to its' parked spot, and gave my boy the biggest hug of all time! At that time I felt somebody's eyes on me. Another Mom had been observing the drama and commented to me that she had been watching Caleb and if he had started to wander off any further she was planning on putting him back in the play center. I thanked her profusely but felt really embarrassed that I had lost track of my child! I think it had only been 2 minutes that he was out of my sight...and probably 2 minutes of us searching...geesh...guess that's all it takes.

Not being able to find Caleb felt absolutely horrible. Even the wonderful relief I felt upon seeing him was quickly replaced by looming guilt that invaded after everything was calm. The experience was still pretty fresh when we had to re-live all those emotions the very next day! Yup...Caleb took off again!

This time he wandered off at church. So not as dangerous, per se, as a crowded mall but I still found myself frantic nonetheless. I was using the restroom, so technically it was on Scott's watch but still....what is wrong with us?!? Scott says he saw Caleb lying on the floor playing after sunday school one minute, turned to settle Seth into nursery, came back and the boy was gone! Mind you, our church has a huge basement (where nursery and classes are held) with what seems like 50 doors that lead to 50 different rooms, and with most of the lights usually turned off , it can feel like a fun house maze. There's 3 different stairwells, one of which leading to the main door where people are going in and out of church. Oh! which is located on a busy street, I might add. Caleb has tried to escape out of said door on other occasions so, of course, I am frantically running up and down the stairs calling out for him (as is Scott...who now knows what our little monkey is capable of). We are new to this church, I might add, so it's not like everyone knows us and our children and we certainly are not familiar with the complete layout of the church building. After what seemed like an eternity (5 minutes) a kind lady found him in the upstairs kitchen. She didn't seem too impressed when I poked fun of myself for losing him briefly just the day before! Good grief! I am going to have to be a pretty awesome mom this week in order to redeem myself of such irresponsible parenting!

Summer Pics

Here are some of my favorite pictures from this summer. We spent eight weeks in MA visiting family and had a great time (mostly). I probably took about 200 pictures while we were there so this is just the tip of the summer pics iceberg. I find if I choose to wait until I have time to post everything then....well....we all know it just will never happen so I just gotta do what I can do when I have even a little bit of time.

This horse had a great personality! I think he thought Seth's stuffed animal was food but I thought it was super cute how playful he was with the boys!

This is actually Easter morning (not from MA). I just love how Caleb was running and then stopped to pose for me! He is my happy boy!

Seth helped my Dad (Poppi) plant his garden as well as water it and help tend to it weekly. Right before we left he was able to pick the very first tomato! Of course he didn't eat it but he did carry it around for a while!

Toward the end of our stay we visited an animal sanctuary that the kids love to go to. This was one of my favorite days while we were there. It was a gorgeous day, serene setting, and my boys were full of wonder as they walked around the farm finding all the animals (who are allowed to roam free).

Catchin' Up

Ths is really old news but here is the e-mail I sent out to family after Scott got his results back from the GI doc. I wanted to have it documented here before I started to blog regularly again so bear with me if you already know all this.

Dear friends and family,
As you all know Scott had his upper GI system scoped today to try to determine why he's been unable to swallow food (for over a week now). The pictures revealed that he has a condition called Barrett's esophagitis. Apparently this can result from severe cases of GERD (Gastroesophageal Reflux Disease) but some people do not experience symptoms at all...until they are suddenly unable to swallow (like Scott). Scott has ulcers and abnormal cell lining in his esophagus that has formed due to the irritation. The doctor has done a few biopsies and we will hear back in about a week if everything is clear. It was explained to us that, when left untreated, Barrett's can lead to pre-cancerous cells forming...so scheduling routine visits to the GI doc will be in our future to make sure things are not getting worse. Scott has been put on Prilosec to keep the reflux under control and had his esophagus opened or "stretched" so that he can eat again. The nurse commented that is was quite constricted and that he should feel a big difference now that it is opened up more. We were also told that he will most likely have to have this procedure done again as most people with Barrett's have recurring issues with swallowing. He also will have to make a few lifestlye changes to keep the reflux at bay. We feel relieved that we have some answers as to why Scott couldn't swallow. It was quite alarming and came on the heels of his wisdom teeth being extracted so he has not eaten a decent meal in over 2 weeks! Needless to say, he is very excited to eat a burger when he starts to feel better...which hopefully will be soon! Thank you all for your prayers, support, and concern. I know Scott has felt loved and cared for by you all and has appreciated your encouragement. To read more about Barrett's I included a very basic overview of the condition in the link below.Thanks again!
Rachel

**Biopsies came back normal for cancer but positive for Barretts (which isn't a surprise).

Update on Scott

The oral surgeon and a doctor from our family practice did not discover anything wrong with Scott's throat or mouth on Monday. The doctor told Scott to take some Ibuprofen and if it didn't go away for a few days to call back so they could order a few tests to try to determine why he can't swallow.
Around 8:00 he followed doctor's orders and took the Ibuprofen. Only problem, the pills wouldn't go down and caused his problem to become significantly worse. At this point I am thinking I have to crush the pills up and put them in applesauce so I call the pharmacist to ask some advice and also to check on Benadryl dosage (because I'm thinking a little benadryl can't hurt and we only have children's Benardryl). The pharmacist tells me if Scott can't swallow a small pill like motrin then he needs to go to the ER because that is NOT NORMAL!! She tells me to get off the phone and get him there as soon as I can! Scott is starting to feel alarmed because his throat is starting to swell again so we decide to go to Urgent Care. It was a blessing that my sister was here so we didn't have to worry about a sitter for the boys (who were already in bed anyway). It ended up that the Urgent Care Center didn't have the proper equipment to do the testing Scott needed (even though we called ahead of time to make sure they did...so frustrating) so they sent us to the ER. The doctor suspected that Scott had a condition where the esophagus forms scar tissue and starts to narrow in certain places causing swallowing difficulties...some kind of fissure. We were seen at 11:05 p.m. Turns out the radiologist at this particular hospital disappears every night at 11:00...yeah, five minutes too late. We had to wait until 2 a.m. to see another radiologist who was covering 3 different hospitals in town. When the radiologist finally arrived he did a barium swallow test on Scott in which everything checked out normal. At this point we are absolutely BAFFLED as to what is going on!!! The doctor talks a little about acid reflux, gives Scott a Prilosec, and writes a referral for Scott to see a GI doctor.
Scott takes the pill, which immediately causes more aggravation and discomfort, which results in Scott having a horrible night of pain and sleeplessness. Not good. Not good at all.
The plan from here is that he has an appointment with a GI doctor for Wednesday in which they will put him under for two hours to scope his upper GI system. The poor guy still cannot swallow and has been living off of chicken broth and shakes. I've had to do some research on how to keep him getting the protein he needs to function and stay hydrated. It has been a trial, to say the least, never mind all of the worrying that is going on. The little research we've done on our own has turned up several different possibilities of what could be wrong...some of them I don't even want to consider. Apparently it takes over 50 different muscles and nerves working together just to perform the simple act of swallowing...something I will never take for granted again!
Please pray that Wednesday's appointment goes well and that Scott will have some relief soon. I will keep you posted if anything changes or improves!!

Sick

I am still alive. Barely. Last Tuesday Scott had one wisdom tooth and a molar extracted...it was an emergency due to an infection. The recovery has been longer than we expected. On Wednesday my sister Becky and brother Nate arrived. We had a great day Thursday. Friday morning I woke up feeling very nauseous and weak. As the day went on I got progressively worse and by dinner I was curled up in bed a big shivering mess. Awful night. Saturday I had aches and pains so bad that I wanted to cut off parts of my body to alleviate the discomfort...thank God for Thermaflu and Ibuprofen. Seriously, my fingers and toes hurt. I had a better night and woke up with a stomach ache but had more energy and was hopeful the worst was behind me. I still couldn't eat most of the day but actually got out for a walk!! I decided a few bites of dinner couldn't hurt. Boy was that a mistake. I paid for it that night and all day today (Monday). Still can't eat. Still sick. Still trying to stay hopeful that there is light at the end of the tunnel. Today Scott called from work. He had driven himself to the ER because his throat had started to swell to the point where he was having a hard time swallowing. Except he wouldn't go in. He wanted to call his oral surgeon first to rule out a potential side effect from the surgery. Long story short (and still not over)...he went to the oral surgeon where everything checked out. He is now seeing our doctor who will hopefully have some answers. In the midst of all this we have company!!! Nate left today but Becky is here and having to endure all this chaos! I really hope things take a turn soon so I can actually be a good hostess and enjoy being with my sister. Oh, and food would be nice too.

Babies Don't Keep

Mother, O Mother, come shake out your cloth,
Empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
Hang out the washing, make up the bed,
Sew on a button and butter the bread.

Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She’s up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.

Oh, I’ve grown as shiftless as Little Boy Blue,
Lullabye, rockabye, lullabye loo.
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
Pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo

The shopping’s not done and there’s nothing for stew
And out in the yard there’s a hullabaloo
But I’m playing Kanga and this is my Roo
Look! Aren’t his eyes the most wonderful hue?
Lullabye, rockaby lullabye loo.

The cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow
But children grow up as I’ve learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down cobwebs; Dust go to sleep!
I’m rocking my baby and babies don’t keep.

By: Ruth Hamilton

I have been seeing bits and pieces of this poem over the last few months on different blogs I read and on one friend's facebook status which prompted me to find it in its' entirety. I love it. This poem is a great reminder to me of what is really important during this time that I'm home with the boys. I know I will miss their perfect baby noses, squishy cheeks, and little voices someday and though there will always be dirty dishes, floors, and laundry to tend to there won't always be time to really spend with my little ones. Time is the one thing that always seems to slip away so quickly and can be very sneaky in doing so. Time can go by so fast and yet so slow, can feel dreadfully long while also frighteningly short, and is our enemy and yet our friend. It slowly marches forward...steadily, quietly, and consistently...changing our lives as it leaves its' mark. So, today, I will keep this "time theme" in the forefront of my mind. And when the boys wake up from their naps we will play on the floor together, read books, dance to music, and make a big old mess...and then I will cuddle with them (whether they like it or not)!

Because I'm One of Those Moms Who Never Remembers

Here is a boring post about things going on in our life that I may not want to forget about someday:

*Seth is in a big boy bed. He made the big move a few days after his 3rd birthday. We have had zero problems with this transition...he was definitely ready and is doing fantastic! When he is ready to get up he simply shouts: Help me Mom! He waits until I go in to tell him it's okay to get out of bed. Odd? Yes! But, it's working for us as we don't have to worry that he is wandering all over the house or wreaking havoc in his bedroom.

*Seth and Caleb are now sharing a bedroom! Seth had been in a crib in our bedroom due to the boys waking each other up. While we were out east we all shared a room and it worked out fine so we made the switch the same time as the switch from crib to bed. Night time is working great...no problems whatsoever. Naptime, however, is not going as smoothly. The boys wake each other up or keep each other up on occasion and I am not willing to sacrifice naptime just yet so we have a pack and play set up in our bedroom for Seth. I'm hoping this is only temporary. Naps are typically around 2 hrs. long for both boys. Seth is still napping 3 to 4 times a week and on the days he doesn't fall asleep he has a quiet time from 1-3 in my bed watching a movie. I plan on incorporating a quiet time for the kids for quite some time after they stop taking naps. It's good for them and very good for me.

*Seth's 3 yr. well child appt. in January showed him to be in the 50th percentile for weight and the 75th percentile for height. He is meeting all of his milestones and did great! He is wearing a 3T in pants and a 4T in shirts and pajamas. He has been complaining for some time that his belly button hurts and I've noticed that it has turned from an innie to an outie so I mentioned this to the doctor. After checking it she noted that she could feel an abnormality around his belly button but she wasn't sure if it was a hernia or not. She suggested we keep an eye on it and if he keeps complaining he'll have to see a specialist. She said small hernias can repair themselves in time and if Seth does need surgery most likely it would not be until he is 4 or 5 anyway. Of course last night he was complaining about it again. Part of me just wants to give him a big eye roll! What next child??? It's not his fault but it is not surprising that he has another "minor" problem that requires another specialist.

*Caleb had his 18 month old well child checkup in January as well. He is in the 50th percentile for weight and the 75th percentile for height and is meeting all his milestones. He is wearing a 2T in everything. Caleb loves to talk! We have no idea what he's saying but he converses all the time in his own jibber jabber...sometimes even at 4 a.m, much to our chagrin. He has started saying a few words: dog, sock, go, giraffe, cup, and a few other random words that he repeats after us. He tries to say Seth by making the "s" sound with his tongue...it is cute. He is behind on language development just like Seth was (though not enough to cause concern yet). I am trying to be laid back about this as Seth started talking around 2 and a half and is right on track now (says his doctor). Caleb is definitely our little climber. I don't remember Seth climbing nearly as much at this age as what Caleb is doing.

*Our next challenge is to get rid of the binkies. The boys keep their pacifiers in their beds and use them to fall asleep. Most of the time they fall out of their mouths by the time Scott and I go to bed and it is not a big issue. We also use them on long road trips (MA) or during illness. Our family doctor does not see a problem with using transitional objects like a binky or blanket. She said a child Seth's age still needs those things to comfort himself and help him, well, transition...I guess. Seth also has a special blanket, which also stays in the bed, but if he has his binky he NEEDS his blanket and vice versa. I need to keep reminding myself that most big changes and steps that the kids make (like weaning Caleb and moving Seth from crib to bed) are easy if the boys truly are ready. It's all about their readiness not my readiness. Potty training Seth is also in the near future. He is totally NOT ready at this point. He could sit in a wet/poopy diaper for hours without telling me. I'm thinking summer will be a good time but who knows!

*Favorite foods for the boys are: toast/english muffins, yogurt, eggs (big fave for seth...I am still trying with caleb), avocados, tortilla chips, sweet potatoes, squash, black beans, tuna with noodles, mac and cheese, ham, pb&j sandwiches, chicken nuggets, cheese, berries, mandarin oranges, apples, raisins, almonds (seth), oatmeal with raisins or blueberries, bananas (only caleb), grilled cheese (only caleb), cream of wheat, soup (especially alphabet...although it takes seth an awfully long time to eat b/c he has to name every letter), french fries, applesauce, hot dogs and beans, and bacon and sausage. Seth also enjoys ground beef...he will request "meat."

NOTE: Although all these foods are listed as their favorite foods, any and/or all of these items can be rejected by Seth at any given meal depending on what kind of mood he is in...makes feeding him a real joy! (insert sarcastic tone)

UPDATE ON MY LAST POST: Caleb has cut a few teeth that were bothering him. I got over my pity party when both boys got sick last week and the night waking continued for both Seth and Caleb for 3 or 4 more nights along with a good week and a half of long, miserable, sickly days. Things getting worse was just the distraction I needed to put the teething in perspective. *Sigh*

Teething Woes

Caleb is cutting 4 teeth right now. They are eye teeth and they are taking their sweet old time making an appearance. The week we got home from our trip the boys had a checkup in which Dr. Schuler noted Caleb's eye teeth starting to come through. THAT WAS THREE WEEKS AGO!!! Which isn't a big deal, really, except for the fact that 3 to 4 times a week Caleb is waking up around 2 or 3 a.m. and staying up until 6 or 7. He then falls back asleep until 8:00 and is up for the day. Last night he woke up at 2:30....and never went back to sleep! Don't ask me how a one year old can even function the following day after gettting such a poor's night rest but he was up and playing most of the day and didn't get a great nap either. He's not happy, of course, but he's plugging through on five hours of sleep a night and I'm a little concerned that this pattern may turn into a habit if he doesn't get back on track soon. It is going on 11:00 p.m. as I type this and he is just falling asleep now. I know teething affects his sleep patterns and I can grit my teeth (no pun intended) and bear it....usually. But when will this end? I am not seeing the light at the end of the tunnel and I'm kind of feeling depressed about it. The sleep deprivation is starting to get to me and I'm feeling run down. I know when this is over it'll be over and life will go on, but right now, it is still very much happening and I need to know how to cope with limited sleep and a crabby toddler who is in pain and irritable most of the day. On top of it all, he now has a cold. Could be so much worse in the whole scheme of things...but waah! waah! waah!

Distance DOES make the heart grow fonder

We are back home after being gone for a whole month! Phew! We had a great time out east visiting family, celebrating Christmas, New Years, and Seth's birthday, and spending oodles of quality time with the grandparents...but, boy oh boy, is it ever good to be home!
Caring for the boys, around the clock, without Scott (as he flew back home for 2+ weeks) was challenging and exhausting. Yes, I did have help from family and the boys were troopers with going back and forth between my parents' houses, but it still required a huge amount of daily energy to make all the decisions alone and being the only disciplinarian day in and day out was mentally draining. It made me very appreciative and grateful for the great dad that Scott is to the boys and the unified team that we are when we're together. There were a lot of heavy things amongst some family members that happened while we were home as well and I felt a little lonely processing it alone. It made me keenly aware of the emotional support I am used to receiving from Scott's attentive ear and quiet affirmation. It made me thankful.
I returned home to an awesome surprise. Not only had Scott repaired and painted the two leaky (and moldy) ceilings and painted the kitchen, office, playroom, and our bedroom...BUT...he also stained and finished the floors in the office and playroom...AND....put in a new shower as well as BUILT a closet in our bedroom. I was in tears!! Our house is finally coming together and I can finally think about purchasing items to start decorating! Hooray (it's only been 4 years)!
All in all, the trip out east was worth it. There were hard and trying moments that made me want to come home early like when Caleb got severe croup and ended up in the ER struggling to breathe. But there were also moments that brought great joy and satisfaction like seeing my kids growing closer to my parents and watching them connect with their cousins and aunts and uncles. That's the whole point of these extended visits...I want my family to know my kids and I want my kids to have lots of memories with my family. When I keep these goals at the forefront of my mind than I cannot help but feel blessed that I have a husband that goes above and beyond to make those things happen and a family that excitedly welcomes us into their homes and graciously accommodates us.