Go Away Dragon!

This past summer my brother, Nate, gave Seth the book Where the Wild Things Are. He is a little young to really understand the imaginative aspect of the story but he was immediately drawn to the page of Max on a boat who seems to be confronting a scary dragon in the water. I cannot tell you how many times my sister Becky re-enacted this scene with Seth throughout the course of our stay out east. Pretending he was Max, he would hold out his hand to the horrible creature, crinkle up his nose, furrow his little brow, and say with as much authority as he could muster up: "Go Away Dragon!" He absolutely LOVED acting this out...over and over and over. Well, "go away dragon" has quickly evolved into anything, really, that seth is wanting to go away in his little two year old world. From food he dislikes, to bugs, to a runny nose and the evils of constipation (yes, he has even exclaimed "go away poop" on occasion) my little guy is facing his fears, discomforts, and plain old annoyances and telling them where to go! It's humorous to watch and pretty darn cute, I must say, but I also get the feeling that Seth truly feels empowered when making this statement and I think it is working for him. Yesterday he fell down and hurt his arm. He got up, rubbed his arm, started to whimper a little, and then his expression changed. He looked down at his arm again, put on a brave face, and said in a strong voice: "Go Away Hurt!" And that was that. Done. He turned around, went looking for the next toy to play with, and was his happy little self in no time. I stood there marveling at my boy's resilience, his determination, his resolve to stand taller than his "dragons" and take control over the challenges and obstacles that come his way. I also couldn't help but think of future hurt that may come his way. Hurt feelings, a friend's betrayal, a broken heart, or even the pain of losing someone he loves. And in that moment, I prayed extra hard that the words, "Go Away Hurt," would work for him then too.

Don't you wish we could all speak to our "dragons" the way Seth does his? You really can learn a lot from a two yr. old.

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or discouraged....for there is a greater power with us than with him. With him is only the arm of flesh, but with us is the Lord our God to help us and to fight our battles." (2Chronicles 32:7 &8a)

Back!

So, um, I'm going to attempt blogging again. Mostly so I can keep a record of my days with the boys, how they're growing and changing, and the cute (or not so cute) things they say and do.

The boys are starting to play together for very short periods of time. It is heart warming to see and I am reminded that even though it would be nice to have a daughter it is so worth it to have two of the same gender with them being so close in age. Seth giggles at Caleb's goofy faces and silliness like no other and Caleb looks at Seth with big adoring eyes. I hope that they will be best buds as they grow together. I am looking forward to the day when I can send them off to play together for hours on end. It is still challenging to find blocks of time where I feel like I accomplish things around the house. I usually set my expectations pretty low and if I exceed them I call it a productive day! Cooking supper is a joke! Caleb is pulling on my legs and tearing apart the kitchen and Seth is usually bored by 4:00 so I am saving their T.V. time for that time of day(lately t.v. doesn't interest them...and I feel sad about that). Like everything else it is probably just a stage that I need to force myself to see as temporary.

I am enjoying one on one time with Seth while Caleb naps. We will do an art project, practice ABC's, take out the playdough, or read books. He is eating it up. He is very eager to learn and loves to be told stories. He is talking a lot now and wants us to repeat everything he says. Fun! Seth loves music and does extremely well singing on key! We have no idea where he got that from. He is still obsessed with animals and even pointed out a Tapir to me in a book the other day...gotta love Diego.

Caleb is walking. He started last month and has been crawling less and less. It is very cute to observe him as he clumsily totters around the house, loses his balance, and falls down over and over again. Both boys mastered walking around 16 months...hmmm.

We can breathe easy now

Seth has had a rough winter to say the least. It seems like we can't go even a few weeks before he gets another round of what sounds like the croup. If Seth gets even a little bit of a stuffed nose it will inevitably end up as a respiratory infection. It's nerve wracking because there have been mornings when he wakes up with heavy rapid wheezing. We now have a nebulizer to treat him when he is struggling to breathe which has brought a lot of reassurance.

The next time he gets this cough the doctor wants to investigate the possibility of allergies and asthma. Right now he is on zantac to rule out acid reflux which can sometimes cause a chronic cough.

He had just eaten an orange popsicle in this picture hence the lips! His newfound obsessions are the dinosaur and manitee in his hands.

In other news Caleb had his nine month checkup this week. He is 20lbs. 8.5 oz and is 28.5 inches long. Mostly, the 50th percentile for all his measurements. We'll take it! He is growing and developing fine and didn't have to endure any shots this time! He also did great at his GI appointment last week and only has to go back one more time! He still battles constipation but is far more comfortable these days!

He is sleeping well for naps and at night. He still wakes up at 11:00 for a feeding as well as 4:00 a.m. In the next few weeks I am going to try to drop one of these feedings but I actually don't mind it all that much. I am painfully aware that his baby days are fleeting and I want to cherish these last few months of nursing him. Besides, compared to what his sleeping habits were a few months ago it feels like I am getting a ton of sleep! He is also eating like a champ! Favorite foods include sweet potato, avocado, squash, pears, and Gerber puffs!

Timing is everything

Wow! I can't believe how long it's been since I last posted. I don't quite know how to get started again...there' s been so much that has happened these past few months but, then again, not really. I guess that's the way I feel a lot about life now that I have two little ones...it seems like I'm always busy but when I look back at the end of the day I feel like I've accomplished absolutely nothing! I believe that timing is everything. I'm not quite sure if now is the time for me to have a blog but I know that someday I will proabably appreciate having my thoughts and the kids' daily experiences recorded....so I am trying to decide what to do.
It seems kind of silly to sit down and write when I barely have time to shower, keep the house up, exercise, do my devotions, return phone calls, cook, write thank you cards, etc. So, we will see, I guess. What may happen is my posts may become rather short and random. Like I said, timing is everything...so I may have to adjust my blog to fit the amount of time I have to put into it.

Everything is Sacred

There's a Caedmon's Call song that starts out:

This house is a good mess

It's the proof of life

No way would I trade jobs

But it don't pay overtime

The singer goes on to sing about all the daily duties and seemingly insignificant tasks she does day in and day out as a wife and mom and how just when it seems she is catching up at the end of the day the realization sets in that it will all be undone again with a new day at hand.

She goes on to sing:

Could it be that everything is sacred

And All this time

Everything I've dreamed of

Has been right before my eyes

Ever since my bedrest experience I can't listen to this song without tearing up. After I got home, after Caleb's birth, simple things like washing my own dishes, folding the laundry, and changing my son's diapers suddenly seemed sacred. Things that I complained about doing in the past I was now eager to do...and actually enjoyed doing because I had been so dependent on other people for 8 weeks, and had felt so robbed of my role as a wife and mom.

You would think that lying in bed while everyone did everything for you would be wonderful, right? Surely that is every mom's dream...especially when you are 7 months pregnant. There were many days I had prayed for that kind of break...days when I felt so exhausted by the hard pregnancy and a little boy who always wanted to be held. But then when I was told that I could not run my household any longer...I could not cook, clean, shop, let the dog out, change the sheets, do laundry, drive....OR HOLD MY SON....I was devastated. It was either let things go around the house (which some things Did.Really.Go.) Or, it was completely depend on others to care for my house and family....and sometimes I felt extremely grateful, blessed, and humbled by all the help we recieved...and other times I felt insignificant, incapable, and extremely bitter. Bitter that I was missing out on so much of every day life. You know, the day in and day out stuff that occurs when you're home a lot with your child...the things you take for granted. The moments that make it all worthwhile. We all know "those kind of moments" because those are the things that keep us going...they are the moments that remind us that we actually DO love being moms. Like experiencing your child doing something for the first time, or having a goofy moment, or being there when your child hurts himself and wants you to make him feel better. Those times cannot be replaced.

So, when you find out from your mother in law that your fifteen month old has learned a new word and suddenly hates cheese....it hurts... because you realize you are missing out on the privilege of knowing your child best...because you are only able to see him 45 minutes a day in the confined space of a hospital room. Every day was a struggle for me...I had to let go...I had to share my role...I had to trust...it was hard. Very hard. Seth also learned to walk while I was lying in bed trying to help Caleb stay put. Did that sting? Yes. Was it for the best? Yes. It was almost like I had to grieve the loss of being absent from Seth's life during those two months...very emotional time for me.

I guess all of this to say that sometimes I need to remind myself of how blessed I am to be able to wipe my son's nose, to kiss his boo boos, to change his diapers (even the poopy ones) and to make his meals even when he won't eat....because at least I am present...we are together....and I am experiencing those every day seemingly insignificant "moments" with him...and now I know that they are not insignificant at all...they are extremely important and they will be cherished forever.

Sure, the house IS a mess most of the time. It takes me a week to clean the whole bathroom, the sheets don't get changed as often as they should, and sometimes the laundry piles up so high the dog prefers sleeping on the huge mound of clothes rather than his own little doggy bed. Things get really crazy around here...but at least it's my crazy and I know I wouldn't want it any other way. I've learned that every little thing is truly sacred.

P.S. You are all allowed to remind me of this post when I am complaining, whining, or having a pity party about how overwhelmed, tired, and burnt out I feel on a day to day basis...well, let me vent first...then validate me....then remind me, okay?

I know many of you are wondering about Caleb's stomach problems (reason why I have hardly blogged this month)...I am not ready to write about it yet (too negative)...but will shortly....when he turns a corner.

A letter

Dear Caleb,
Mommy and Daddy want you to know that there are better ways to get our attention than crying. It's much cuter when you smile, coo, and laugh...when you do those things you may even see us smile, coo, and laugh back at you. Negative attention will not get you far in this house...your brother tried it for 6 months! After a while he finally gave up and just decided to be happy. This is one thing you should learn from him...just try it...you'll see.

Love, Mom

P.S. We miss your dimples, little marshmallow man.

Yow yow yow....

It was the perfect night for trick or treating...Seth didn't quite "get" what this holiday is all about but had fun with his cousins and collecting goodies from the houses. It was good to get out of the house and have other people helping out with the kids after the long exhausting week we all had...but more on that later...maybe tomorrow....or sometime soon...maybe...when I collect my sanity and can actually write cohesive sentences....so I'm still alive if you don't hear from me for a while...just not sane yet.

Seth does not know how to say meow....so whenever he sees a kitty he says in a high pitched Elmo sounding voice...yow yow yow yow....and he says it very very quickly...it sounds NOTHING like a cat...the first time I heard this I was a little confused...then I saw the cat he was enthusiastically trying to imitate. It's cute...but a little strange.